I never thought Id be the other girl but it happened and I hope him and his wife get a better emotionally connection. Men love to look at younger, better bodied women. Dont just jump to I dont know what to do. Instead, take 15 minutes and ask your body and soul what you should do. Its not a myth or a fairy tale. I see her at work daily. I was heart broken. He promises to never do it again. Am so heart broken, our marriage is not even up to a year. She only comes around when he is there and I found out he called her phone and was on there for almost and hour. https://theadventurouswriter.com/quipstipsrelationships/how-to-cope-with-failed-relationship/, Ok so me and my husband have been married for a year we have lived together for 10 years and have 7 beautiful children together. She was married, but lived in another state, so I left it alone at first. My family says i should get a divorce and i am now thinking the same thing. Confrontation has two goals - the truth itself and . I regret to inform you that you speak the truth. Your grandma on your moms side? I dont like divorce so i like to think people can try to work through it the first and only time it happens but more than once is a slap in the face and him saying he doesnt care, which he probabley doesnt. one day i just went to his house without informing iam coming, wow i foound him with a woman in his bedroom, i aked him and he told me what i see is what i see. A word about intuitionIve been with mine for 2yrs. Find someone you trust, and talk through your options. If youre really confused and worried about it, I encourage you to talk to a counselor in person. I wasnt brought up this way and if my father was still alive he would be SOOOOO disappointed in me. Our sex life became very dull due to his lack of desire. Please note I consider this guy as a very good friend & Id rather keep the friendship & risk the friendship as well if thats what it takes, than let him get involved with me for the wrong reasons from his perspective if truly wants to work it out with his wife. Please I need help. He refused to stop communicating with her. Some are free, some cost money. Song Title: What did I do? hear @ URL: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SZp8u_vGgYo, My hubby is chreating,I know he is lieing to my face.I know I been cheating on him. My boyfriend of 3 years has always been a very loving and sensitive partner. I write articles on marriage success and I believe you shouldnt be with a man whom you suspect of having an affair and then lying about it. my husband always had a very abusive personality in all senses. I mean he has telling me stories that they went out with marines, or did that or third, but nothing about meeting or becoming friends with a female. There is a part of me that thinks why didnt he want me but as much as it hurts, l havent lost a good man. I dont have a good feeling. Your well-being is not dependent on this man, nor should it to be. I learned a lot from that experience, and my advice to you would be that, its good to stand up for yourself, but if you try to control too much, hell resent you for it and do it behind your back anyway. Where Do You Live After a Separation or Breakup? Hes taken me for two walks, which means pushing me in a wheelchair around the lake because I cant walk that far with my walker, in a month. I started cheating on my fianc after he was holding back on intimacy. And my prayer is that you follow yourself, for you already have the answers. I never sensed that he is cheating on me, but my instint tells me he is. She was very pretty she was wearing a black string binkini and had a perfect body. He ripped off his shirt, buttons flying everywhere and began to yell, and said Im sick of this. I asked if he is sick of me and he said yes. And i told him that alochol was just as much a drug as weed is and he and i do not see eye to eye on this. Mabel i would be moving on with my life. We have only been married seven months. What should I do? I didnt even recognize that I was severely depressed all those years! Which is a very reasonable thing to do, however, you shouldnt just take him back without setting up some boundaries. Subtle behaviors were happening. Our sex life is non-existent. His answer was he went out of town to get her car fixed and that he spent the night at a rest stop. Everyone could me she was trouble. For some couples, insights like this are just what they need to see the truth about cheating! I now find 2 years later he is gifting money h, car and query taking someone overseas on a business trip, I only saw notes over a couple of weeks but I feel devastated all over again . Now my gut confronts me again, he went on a short 3day business trip. He has admitted he cheated but he always says it like I cheated instead of just sounding flat out he cheated. Though, as petty as it may appear, I have to defend myself by saying he worked away for weeks at a time and when he did come home, there was a lot of partying, etc. He knows my heart knows the truth. Alcohol GONE the minute I found out. I asked him the same as in why & the only thing he said is he has a thing for me which really does not tell me much. Im sorry for what you went through with your husband. Everything he has tried that made some great steps in the beginning.changed jobs, changed cell phone numbers, now has a dumb phone, prayed as a family.all stopped over that last 4 months. Sorry I left marks. I went off what I knew for years staying by his side and believing what he told me. So today I do not understand why he wants to risk it while hes also trying to work it out with his wife? Luckily the woman didnt respond to my husbands messages. When he came home we were talking and I followed him to his dressing room to put away some clean clothes and mentioned the missing gift garments. Long story short, married 8 years together 13. These tips are good, but not enough to know for sure if your husband is lying about cheating on you. I didnt want to be living with his parents anymore and he wouldnt be financially ready to move for awhile. It seems that the only way it will work out is if I never bring it up again and forget about it. save yourself the years and decades of pain. I cant imagine going on with this marriage with my gut telling me otherwise. I havebeen married for 16 years and been with my husband total 19 years.I have caught him about 6 times he has freinds that are females. Usually, the women posting describe behavior from their man that makes its even quite obvious that he is cheating. while i was that far everyday he call me asking were iam, with whomm iam was very jealous. I confronted him with this and he got angry and defensive and claims I am paranoid and suspicious. if that doesnt work, and hes really sneaky, get a keylogger for computer or his phone .. you have a RIGHT TO KNOW !! First, I wanted to put him and every man like him in his place. He knew he was corned, I had suspected when when she actual hugged my husband infront of me our but I overlooked my gut feeling. This happened to a friend of mine recently and she waned to know what to do. When asked he told that those were for some game they were going to play for party. Believe me, he is feeding you a bunch of bunk. He cant remember if they had sex but he feels they made out. I decided to go and attend somthing in other town for 4 months. Am I going mental? Men lie plain and simple my husband and I have not even been married a full month I have caught him red handed LYING about a few things. He reacted instantly saying hed forgotten and reached up to the closet, and produced these beautiful, sexy clothes hed bought me, and a bottle of my new favorite perfume. For quite some time, I looked the other way and stuffed those feelings and it made me more and more sick. It is crazy when we dont do the thing that we know and feel is right. Over the years even after we got married back in 2013, our relationship has become more and more difficult. I asked her if she had an emotional attachement and she said she was not attached to him but the business/shop. Thanks for your thoughts on private investigators helping wives find out if their husbands are lying about cheating, Angel! It hurt. I THOUGHT HE REALLY CARED AND WAS INTERESTED IN ME. He took me outside on a strollwe talked and he said he was sorry about wat he had to tell me. My husband started cheating when I left for a job. I wrote this to answer your question and another girl had the same question, so I answered her here, too: What Should I Do When I Suspect He is Cheating on Me? He doesn't mean it. Im tired of this but I dont want to give up on our relationship. Its a form of manipulation. In a survey of 1,535 adults, a full 91 percent considered infidelity to be morally. He later (about2-3 weeks) told me it was nothing serious. He finally admits that he did click on a live porn chat because he was on another chatroom, i asked him why he goes to chat rooms in the first place, its wierd and wrong for a married man, I understand porn, but to have cyber sex is like cheating! He refuses to talk about it or even accept his own guilt. I just felt he was having an affair because the way he acted towards me subtly changed. I can tell you every word you wrote resonated with me. Monogamy not part of a mans nature. Please raise that precious baby in a healthy environment!!! She send a messages with her picture and saying she misses him..Then there is another girl, same country. My boyfriend lied to me. He sent a text so i got to see it. It is on the other side of the fear of going through the imagined pain of splitting. Although it wont change what happened in the past, it can help you work on your future relationships. All my efforts, all my taking care of the family, working 2-3 jobs after my kids went to school, taking care of bills, taking care of house hold and vehicle maintenance, pushing for a loving, a respectful marriage, all that i thought marriage was supposed to bewas falling around my feet. My life has been him and my two daughters. From Me!!! And then I started getting messages and phone calls and all sorts of relevations about her behavior and inappropriate things she said. That doesnt mean that you cant take your failing marriage as an excuse to change up your appearance, but do it in a way to pamper yourself and make you feel more confident. When asked about it, he said he wasasleep & he never heard the phone, but when at home or anywhere else he always answers even if hes asl. (I asked him about her back then because he had her phone number on his cell phone contact list at the time). Then you proceed to storm out and take off. With the phone calls . However, if you can work through that pain and betrayal to keep your marriage working, it only shows how strong you are as a person. sure too much is bad, but in most cases it does no harm. Unless there is more definitive behavior, I wouldnt necessarily think that is the case. Please dont tell me to ask him because this guy has the sweetest tongue and he gets away with everything with his words. How tragic is that. I wanted to be the 80 year old couple that were madly in love, still holding hands in the nursing home in our wheel chairs. Find out about our Free Virtual Training Search Login. Im a female who likes to watch porn for taking care of business when sex isnt an option. If you are not married and you know he is cheating dont marry him, have sex with him, or countinue dating him that is stupid. Trying to rebuild trust after an affair seems impossible. In his audience, 30% of women think their husbands were lying about cheating, not everyone knew for sure. So the kids hear us fight they are well aware of what is going on. My prayer for you is that you find the resources you need to move past your husbands past. Sometimes this is not the case and they are just sexually unfulfilled, but usually its the emotional part. And what about my sister, do I tell her what her fiance is sending to my husband? The only reason I found out was because I accidentally stumbled across the messages. He is more interested in physical intimacy and makes love again in the tender fashion that he used to when we first met, exploring and caressing my body anew, rather than in the enjoyable but routine and habitual way that we had become used to. His mom died of cancer and the truth came out on her death bed..she lived in fear all their married life. hi my name is kathryn and my husband has his own construction company and my son works for him times are hard so he let my sons girl frend work with him job was to wright estaments ride with him all day looking at jobs and no i didnt like this he also would carry viagra and pain pills with him and as you no he says nothing went on why cant i belive this. When I showed him, he would respond with, well you asked for that of course she is going to hurt you because you are pathetic to even think that of me. I wasnt sure of the details but I know he deletes all texts and calls on his phone, hes told me so advice for wives, check the phone bills if you feel the need to if you see a phone number you dont recognize that is being called or text constantly, times you arent with them- thats suspicious, do some research on that. Especially after I found out that I was pregnant with our 2nd son. He Denies it and try to cover it up . In July 2015, he didnt come home at his regular time. He has said over and over that he is taking our relationship seriously but I just learned that hes been texting another girl in what I consider an inappropriate manner for the past month or so (very flirtatious texts at all times of day, making plans to go to her house that he hasnt told me about, or alternatively him making excuses for why he cant go out that appear to be lies timed around when he was hanging out with me). Now Im 41 years old and Im at high risk and he doesnt want to adopt or try another fertility treatment. Ami, Im sorry in my experience men and women cant be friends because you take away from his relationship with his wife. He admitted to me that he asked her out on a date, but she refused to call it a date, so it was merely just friends. Overall I feel like this mancation will increase your self esteem and give you a since of having control in this out of control relationship with no intimacy or emotional connection. A few months later I found out through her that the day before he went out of town he had sex with her when he went to see his kids and then we did also that night. Plus, it gives you the opportunity to discuss whether you think hes telling you the whole truth and whether or not you should consider staying together. He has 3 children and I am very close with all of them. Ive been through depression as i was beat severely by my father while going up. He won't try and rush you through this first stage of healing and reconciliation. He mentioned once, after they got married how he has to stop talking to me, that she almost found out. Its off limites to me! But I found something else that was undeniable. There is still a reasonable chance that your boyfriend is actually not cheating but i would look into it and MAKE SURE! So, if you are going to forgive him then do it. My husband and I have been together for 10 years. Been with my teen love for 8 years we r now 24 years old n have a 2year old boy.my. How are is it so sure? Im such a bright educated woman yet Im so alone. Well that triggered her to post something about if you have to block/unfriend a friend of the opposite sex of whomever youre with you have insecurities. Do you think your husband is acting the way he is the signs a man is cheating not because hes cheating but because he feels emotionally distant from you? 6 years ago I caught my husband talking to another woman on the cell phone. He is emotionally detached from me. We have 2 children together which are now teens. Maybe you could talk to your friends and find out where they got their information. Ive been with him since I was 16, hes all I know and my heart is breaking. You need to find out.looking forward to reading ur future postsgood luck. If you are in a relationship like this one, trust me, save yourself and leave as soon as you can. It says it is all my own problem and I need to fix it. just spruce your self up. As you type a single letter, any searches that begins with that letter will show up along with the date. Dont ignore it any longer. He was great, best boyfriend ever after that up until about a week or two ago. Is this still cheating? Everytime I ask him he puts the blame on me saying if Im accusing him of cheating then I must be cheating. Hi, I have been married for 7 years and this year I was away from my husband for 6 months.When I was away it was the first time in six years we didnt talk for 3 days cause I told my husband to do something which he would forget everyday to do.Since it was long distance I would get frustrated.During this long distance I was almost paranoid most of the time thinking is he cheating on me but would never mention it to him cause I didnt want a fight.But since subconsciously I thought like that we would eventually fight.When I came back home from abroad I found out that my husband was WhatsApp ing my friend and he didnt tell me.Plus he was deleting their message even though it was nothing.When I asked him he said he would have told me but he didnt know if I would react to that or not plus he didnt want to think otherwise.After a week I found out they used to talk over Viber while I wasnt in town almost every other day.Plus there were 3-4 days they talked for 1.5 hours.I asked me why he hid it from me again he said he would have told me but he didnt get the right time.My husband is scared of losing me he says that every time.I am furious that I had to sneak and caught him.I didnt like the fact he hid it from me.Is he really scared of me?I asked my friend and she said it was stupid of him to not share it with me.But why didnt she share it with me?My husband claims they had nothing and they never met which is true.They only talked over the phone also they talked about how we met and how my husband needs to open up more to me and how much he loves me.I am confused as what to think? I dont mean to offend anyone, and I am not speaking from a place of moral judgement. I realized later my husband asked me to sign off in his emotional affair. What a douche! God bless! So if your friend can do it again please let me know. That leads to the day he accidentally autosaved a picture she sent him and I found it. So I decided to look through everything and I found more photos and videos from his brother who is engaged to my sister. I never asked him about it again but it was always on my mind. So for many years I couldnt understand how he could treat me so direspectful and without consideration for my feelings. She was terminal and very sick. My name hannan iam filipina live in saudi arabia middle east I been maried 3 years, my husband saudian, I was in loved with him because he was a sweet, loving but he always lying on me, not only once,twice million times thats whyI changed. He didnt leaver her right away. He replied by asking why. I cant tell if it just me being crazy hormonal or if im right. We are always together and never like being apart. But he also deny, what should i do? I mentioned that she was young (half his age). Did you ever get your answer? Warm wishes to you as you recover from the loss of trust that you once had. You also cant guarantee that you can trust your husband forever. I found out by looking at his phone logs, in hindsight I knew something was wrong but never this! The guys a jerk. Come to find out this lady had left her husband a few yrs ago for another man at the plant and he works the opposite shift as them. Talking about his sex life, his past relationships and this is all with strangers. He always consulted her before making any decisions just as she always consulted him before making her decisions. Just remember, if Jay-Z can cheat on Beyonc, then any man has the capability to cheat. I know that I have a lot of insecurities, and he picks on me about them. I had two really great friends on the same day call me to tell me they heard my husband was having an affair. Abiola- I feel bad for you, but the writing is crusty on the wall. But I have to be honest, why do you even want to continue this relationship? Hes been clean about 3 months. Like when we have financial issues he sits me down and always reassures me that we will make it through it. Research from the University of Guelph shows that people with sexual performance anxiety are more likely to cheat on their partners. I asked her if he would be willing to do counseling. Well little did he know he had already tould on himself. Honey, I know you dont want to hear this, but PLEASE get away from him while you are young and still can!! Help for marriage problems, for couples who are recently or forever married. Ive been making 36 yrs the 1st of November. Sweet Pea, It gives me some comfort knowing I not alone. Youll also want to know if its just about sex or if they are both in love. I confronted him and he said he just talks to her when hes bored and shes funny which made my heart drop. The first step is finding trust in yourself. and its always the same stuff. I have no idea what to do! Its them that has to do the work to earn back trust, its us that has to do the work to help them to do that if we choose to stay with said partner. Put simply, if he has been cheating, this tool is likely to make it immediately obvious. I cant predict the future but I know that the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. It sounds like it was very difficult to live through that marriage and shocking that he wasnt the man you thought he was. Am I over reacting? You dont need someone to tell you that you are right or acting appropriately. It hurts me to read everyones storiesbut I have to say, it did help knowing there are others, like myself, that are going through very similar situations. Feel is right we have 2 children together which are now teens said he just to... 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